BEN MARDEN PHOTOGRAPHY

AUSTRALIA DAY
You know you’re Australian if …
• You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
• You’re liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans “rooting” for something.
• You pronounce Melbourne as ‘Mel-bin’. You believe the ‘L’ in the word ‘Australia’ is optional.
• You abbreviate our countries towns and cities, ‘BRISSY’, ‘NEWY’, ‘COFFS’, ‘SURFERS’, ‘ROCKY’ and ‘THE GONG’
• You can translate: ‘Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.’
• You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
• You call your best friend ‘a total bastard’ but someone you really, truly despise is just ‘a bit of a bastard’.
• You think ‘Woolloomooloo’ is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
• You’re secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
• You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that’s twice as big as its $2 coin.
• You understand that ‘Wagga Wagga’ can be abbreviated to ‘Wagga’ but ‘Woy Woy’ can’t be called ‘Woy’.
• You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You’ve also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
• You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
• Beetroot with your Hamburger… Of course.
• You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the ANGELS’ song ‘Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again’ And “Living next door to Alice”.
• You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
• You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
• You believe that the more you shorten someone’s name the more you like them.
• Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
• You understand that ‘excuse me’ can sound rude, While ‘scuse me’ is always polite.
• You know what it’s like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
• You know it’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
• Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
• You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call ‘ANZAC BISCUITS’.
• You still think of Kylie as ‘that girl off Neighbours’.
• When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
• You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc.
• You know that there is a universal place called “WHOOP-WHOOP” located in the middle of nowhere…no matter where you actually are.
• You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like shit. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.
• You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
• You’ve only ever used the words – tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet – to mean good. And then you place ‘bloody’ in front of it when you REALLY mean it.
• You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the Salad.
• You say ‘no worries’ quite often, whether you realise it or not.
• You understand what no wucking furries means.
• You’ve drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam.
• You own a Bond’s chesty. In several different colours.
• You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, But not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
• You know that some people pronounce Australia like “Straya” and that’s ok.

1. • And you will forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!!!

Hi Ben,

Michael and I both just wanted to say thank you!!
We are yet to see the finished product, or a photo but know that they are going to be amazing!! We found out about your talent through liz and we chose you because of the love and dedication you show towards whats not just a job to you but what is your passion, you see through that camera lens a different outlook on life! your an amazing photographer ben and an amazing person that we are both so glad to of crossed paths and had the pleasure to share our special and most amazing day of our lives and will continue to spread the word on how amazingly awesome you are and when new and exciting things happen in whats yet to come in our new life we will be sure to call you to capture every moment that matters 

big love and thanks
Tegan&Michael